Working with special guardians, it is important to recognise what a crucial role they play in the lives of children in their care. Understanding the roots of challenging behaviours, and why they are occurring, can empower special guardians to provide the special support these children need to thrive.
What is developmental trauma?
Children who are not able to stay with their first family, have often been affected by challenging circumstances and environments. Developmental trauma refers to the disruption of a child’s healthy emotional, psychological, and cognitive development, often stemming from difficult experiences during their early years. This can include neglect, abuse, separation from primary caregivers, or exposure to violence. These early-life challenges can leave lasting imprints on a child’s brain, affecting their ability to form secure attachments (relationships with key people) and to regulate their emotions, often resulting in behaviours that feel very overwhelming for those then tasked with providing these children with a loving home.
Effect on behaviour
Children who have experienced developmental trauma may display a range of behaviours that can be confusing and hard for caregivers to understand, such as aggression, defiance, emotional outbursts, or difficulty forming relationships. These behaviours are often survival mechanisms developed in response to a threatening or unpredictable environment, and are often beyond the child’s control (even if it doesn’t always feel like it).
Trauma informed approach to parenting
Special guardians play a pivotal role in creating a safe and nurturing environment that promotes healthy child development. Here are some key tips to consider:
- Find Out More: Knowledge is power. Learn about developmental trauma, its effects, and trauma-informed parenting strategies. Numerous resources, workshops, and support groups are available to deepen your understanding. A helpful resource is the Beacon House website who provide lots of information: https://beaconhouse.org.uk/resources/
- Provide Predictability: Children with developmental trauma may struggle with unpredictability. Establish daily routines and clear expectations to provide a sense of stability and safety. Consistency is crucial in building trust. Be reliable, follow through on commitments, and demonstrate that you are a consistent and trustworthy caregiver.
- Encourage Emotional Expression: Help children talk about, label, and express their emotions in a safe and non-judgmental environment. Sitting calmly with a child while they express big feelings can help them to feel safe, and calm their emotions. The aim isn’t to get them to stop the feeling, but to let them know that you are there for them, and ‘be the calm’ in their storm.
- Become a Mind Reader: This skill is crucial, especially when dealing with children who have experienced developmental trauma, as it helps parents connect with and support the child in a more thoughtful way. It means seeing beyond the surface of behaviours and putting yourself in their shoes, and trying to work out their motivations and feelings. This promotes a deeper and more meaningful parent-child relationship. Always ask, ‘what are they feeling right now and how can I help them with this?’
- Seek Professional Support: Being a special guardian is an incredible undertaking, and allows children to stay within their family of birth, or with people who know them. Enlist the help of therapists, other guardians, or support services experienced in trauma-informed care. These professionals can provide guidance for both the child and the special guardian.
- Promote Self-Care: Taking care of yourself is essential for providing the best care for your child. Reach out for support when needed, and prioritise your own well-being.
Dr Sarah Saveker, Clinical Psychologist / Director of Nature and Nurture Psychology
If you have any further questions, or to find out more, please contact info@natureandnurturepsychology.com or take a look at our instagram @naturenurturepsychology for more tips and information about trauma and parenting