Therapeutic Parenting is a great way to support a healthy attachment relationship between parents and children. It can also be useful for teachers, youth workers, or anyone who wants to foster a positive relationship, and influence children’s healthy development.
At the heart of all therapeutic parenting is responding sensitively to the child. This means, thinking about what the child may be communicating or expressing underneath their behaviour. For example, if your child is shouting and not listening to instructions, sensitive parenting would involve taking a step back before responding, and thinking about what might have happened to cause the child to behave in this way. What is the feeling behind the behaviour? What are they struggling with at this moment?
Dan Hughes, a famous psychologist who works with children and families, developed PACE, an approach that is effective at improving the relationship and sense of security between children and their caregivers.
PACE stands for Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy.
Playfulness (P): Encourages caregivers to incorporate joy and playfulness into interactions with children. It focuses on creating a positive and enjoyable family atmosphere. It recognises the importance of laughter and shared enjoyment in building connections.
Acceptance (A): Emphasises unconditional acceptance of the child for who they are, without blame or judgement. It involves acknowledging and validating the child’s emotions, even those that may be challenging to the caregiver – all feelings are valid. It promotes a non-judgmental and supportive environment.
Curiosity ( C ): Curiosity encourages caregivers to express genuine interest in the child’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences. It involves asking open-ended questions and actively listening to the child’s responses. It avoids trying to ‘fix’ and instead focuses on just listening. It fosters a sense of importance and worth for the child’s narrative.
Empathy (E): It focuses on understanding and connecting with the child’s emotions. It involves tuning into the child’s perspective and demonstrating empathy through verbal and non-verbal cues. It validates the child’s experiences and feelings, even if they are hard for the adult to witness (e.g. being defiant). It also avoids trying to ‘fix’ and focuses on just understanding their perspective.